This is the story of my adventure as an English Teacher in China. It all started strangely in September last year, to end horribly one month later. Enjoy...
Good afternoon my friends, good afternoon from happy and humid China!
I don't even know precisely where I am, but it doesn't matter. Let's start from the beginning.
Thursday morning I left Milan full of hope reading to embark on a forever - hours flight to Beijing. To the credit of British Airways, the food was pretty good. Even the movie choice. But the flight was long, looooong, LOOOOONG! And I just can't sleep on airplanes...so you can imagine!
I got to Beijing at 5.45 am and I had to pass 3 controls...health, flu, passport. Then my luggage, and I run out looking for a sign with my name written on it...that OBVIOUSLY wasn't there. so I sat and waited for a while...probably traffic...waited another bit and the strange feeling that they forgot me was growing bigger and bigger.
So I decided that I had to make a move. With my massive luggage I started moving from an info desk to another, trying to find a way to get to the internet. Guys, you can't imagine how hard it was...Chinese people speak a version of English that I haven't updated yet, and it get really frustrating after a while. But I managed it. The phone staff (yes, they have phone staff....) helped me out in logging in with my laptop and I finally found the number I had to call. Super happy, I open skype and called. and skype doesn't work. what a surprise. So I swear very loudly, write down the number, switch off the laptop, pack everything and go back to the phone staff. I bought a sim card and called the guy "Hey it's me, I' in Beijing airport" "Oh are u? good, get the shuttle bus to sdfgsejchigh" to... WHERE???? so...the lazy cow didn't pick me up and I had to struggle with tickets buses with destination unknown and so on...and Chinese people do not raise a finger to help a poor lady with a massive luggage struggling up the stairs. happy days!
I got to the coach station of bdfgheiufhwiudh and called the guy again "Ah ok get a taxi! pass me the taxi driver so I can explain him where to take u!" WHAT?! you lazy f****r!!!
So I got on the taxi and arrived there...at that point I was unbelievably tired, not having slept for around 15 hours. and they made me wait...and wait...and it came out that, because of the anniversary of the republic, entrance is restricted to foreigners...so, no more Zhengzhou. cool. while waiting, I met a couple of Australians that had already been there for a week waiting to be assigned to a place. GOOD. what about me, not even native speaker...midday was approaching and I was falling asleep everywhere, my head as big as a balloon and my eyes as heavy as stones. get me a room!!!
So the strange man - lazy cow told me that he finally found a place for me in the city of jhfghv province of jgbhjbghv. What? I don't know, doesn't matter...I just said yes yes and finally they took me to the hotel.
Now...consider that Beijing is big (the size of Belgium) and they put me in a hotel on the border with Holland. I asked the guy "Where I am????" "oh...beijing...suburbs..." ok "Don't worry have a rest!" ah ok...Now, it's difficult to describe where I was...take Fez and Xochimilco and put them together...and here we are! I was in a motel where the staff obviously spoke only Chinese...in a suburb where they only spoke Chinese. I sat on my bed and I felt so badly lonely that I wanted to cry. But I braced myself and I said "Cheer up and sleep". And I slept a good 5 hours and then I went out for a walk. Not bad, not considering the people constantly shouting or staring at me. I felt like a green alien with silver hair. I tried to approach a couple of diners, but the look in their eyes just pushed me away. so i just bought some biscuits and water and I went back to the motel eating that and watching Chinese cartoon...till I fell asleep listening to the neighbours shagging vigorously. how cute.
In the morning I got up full of hope. Today they'll tell me what it will happen to me! So I had some biscuits and water and called mister lazy cow. he doesn't answer. ok I wait...called him again "Lazy cow it's ellie! any news?" "Who? oh yeah, hi...yes you will be leaving tomorrow I'll call u later bye!". and he hung up. and now? I don't even know where I am or how to get to Beijing! and if I get I taxi, how do I come back if I don't know where I am? at that point, my friends, I started crying. oh yes I did. I felt so desperately lonely and abandoned that I just wanted to get the first taxi to the airport and go home. but again, I braced myself, sent everyone to P*** O*F had a shower and got ready. I go to the centre, whatever. At that point I hear a knock knock at the door and it was the reservation guy passing me his phone "Hallo?" "Hallo it's Lenny!" who? "The guy who took u to the hotel...listen, u will be leaving Beijing at 7 tonight, so I'll come to the hotel to pick u up at 12!". thanks god. so super happy...I went back to bed, while the neighbours started having fun again. At 12 KNOCK KNOCK and it was Lenny! no man looked so beautiful to me at that moment in time, he was God to me! someone to speak to! "WE r a bit early, we leave at 2. let's have a rest, meanwhile" and he jumped on my bed and fell asleep. WHAT???? what about some food. so I breathed deeply, sat on the bed and started reading. he woke up at 1.50 (how, I don't know...) and we got few buses to get to the office. buses in China r so funny...anyway...got to the office Lenny The Saviour decided that it was lunch time. so we went to a...mmmh...noodle place (that the nhs would have closed in 5 second) and I had a basin of noodles with vegetables and eggs for 30 pence. really guys...in Europe u would pay that a bomb. and it was good. and no diarrhea. yahii! Then we went to the bank and to the station...and Lenny The Magic Man waited with me (he even took me to a posh waiting room) and he took me to my very seat. a bed! yeah, in china u can have a bed. there are bunk beds...but not normal ones, ones with 3 beds. and guess which one was mine? u guessed it, the one on top. I banged my head so many times that i look like and octopus upside down. happy days.
Chinese eat all the time, the strangest things ever. i was hanging from my tower looking down at the stuff passing by on trolleys. I could recognize only peaches.
Around 1 o'clock I fell asleep and at 7.30am I was up again...they were eating, very noisily!!! slurping and burping a lot. happy people, the Chinese!!!! =D I had some biscuit and water and I tried the bathroom. open the door. close the door. I sat beside the window waiting for my station (and this time I know the name: Xiaogan! pronounced ZIAAAAoGA'). Get off after 14 hours and started walking up and down steps again, with the familiar feeling that nobody would be there! but this time I was wrong! a happy Chinese man (ages between 20 to 60) came smiling at me saying my name "Elinla" what? I'm sure it was me. He offered me some breakfast and when I asked for tea and cake he looked at me as if I was an green shiny octopus with silver hair asking for grated concrete on toast, as we use to eat on my planet. and he answered "Noodles?" so his friends (called The Driver) got me a pot of...rice floating in a kind of jelly with pieces of yellow and brown stuff. my stomach closed the door and went hiding behind my liver. but I couldn't throw up at his smiley face...so I dipped the spoon in it and ate. Gosh, how good it was! it tasted of grapefruit and something else, but it was great!!!! I had it all.
Then we jump on the car and NIU (the guy) said happily "Now 3 hours" how good! And I fell asleep.
We stopped somewhere for lunch and Niu was very happy coz that was his hometown and we were eating homemade food at his girlfriend house. great. Guys I ate like a pig, Chinese food never tasted so well!!!!! Fish, fish, strange potatoes, dunno what, soup...great great! I loved it. and they were looking at me happily smiling a lot. and I ate. smile smile, I eat!!! ;P
Back to the car we finally got to our destination were Sung, my co-teacher was waiting for me with a bunch of flowers. she's so cute (even if I have some problems in communicating with her....). they took me to my flat (immense, on 2 floors. all for me) and then shopping! but I couldn't find an adaptor. soon I'll be without laptop and mobile...poooooooooooooooooo. but I'll keep looking, this city of which I don't know the name is big, I will find it. if not I'll buy it on the internet.
Now I start being slightly more positive about china...let's c how it goes. Tomorrow I'm off and Tuesday is First Day.
Ok...I go to have a shower now.
I'll update u soon!
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